As I Mature

As I mature... I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

As I mature... I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

As I mature... I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

As I mature... I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

As I mature... I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

As I mature... I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you've finished.

As I mature... I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

As I mature... I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

As I mature... I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

As I mature... I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away...