Repost: Top 10 Statements you DON'T WANNA HEAR from your Parents

Credits go to Chico Garcia.

I can come up with a list all of my own, just quoting my ever-quotable mother.  But seriously, I remember bringing my dad for an MRI, and as he was already delirious, he had a lucid moment where he whispered, “Mamamatay na ko…” and I can you can say I was sufficiently scarred for life.  You’re never quite prepared for statements like that from people you love.  But, this top ten turned out more funny than sad, so pardon the downer of an intro.

March 26, 2009 → The Top Ten Statements You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Parents – SC

1. Schivokanda – A conversation while my mom cooked breakfast, one I would rather forget. Dad: “Kumusta naman itlog ko?” Mom: “Ayun, maalat pa din…”
2. Rekzjoanne – Went I picked up my high school classmate at her house, I was shocked when he mom said: “O, may baon kayong condom?”
3. Eikram – “Anak, i-follow mo naman ako sa Plurk!”
4. Joeshred – Dad: “Anak, tulungan mo nga akong hanapin yung panty ng mommy mo, kasi nag-quickie kami eh di namin ngayon mahanap…”
5. Gabby – One time my mom told my girlfriend: “Siguro satisfied ka sa anak ko no? Bata palang yan, totoy mola na!”
6. Horizon X – My mom asked me in front of my wife: “Sino mas maganda, ako o siya?”
7. Carlitos123 – True story, my friend’s mom sat him down and told him: “Anak, alam mo ba na tatlo ang itlog ng tatay mo?”
8. Curt Smith – “Anak, paano mag unlimited? Gusto daw ng daddy mo na mag-SOP kami eh.”
9. Boknoi – Dad: “Anak, i-download mo naman ako ng mga kanta nila Madonna, Cher, Barbra Streisand at Mariah.”
10. Abernathy – Mom: “Anak, okey lang sa akin na bading ka. Kung tatay mo nga natanggap ko, ikaw pa!”
11. Loi Pogi – Anak, ikaw muna bahala dito sa bahay okay? Mage-Embassy kami ng daddy mo.”
12. Hak/Espeks – “Anak, bakit ang lakas mo sa tissue at laging amoy Clorox yung kuwarto mo?
13. Eikram/Scarlet_Iyah – “Anak, tulungan mo nga akong palitan itong status ko sa Facebook, gawin mong, “it’s complicated”.
14. Blitzkrieg/Ang Manunusok – After you come home from a hot date: Mom: “Anak, ano yang nasa bibig mo, mayonnaise?”
15. Carson – “Anak, top ka ba o bottom?”
16. Jasper – The first time my teammates from the varsity visited our house, my mom blurted out: “Sino sa inyo yung crush na anak ko?”
17. SPY -Shadow – Dad: “Anak, ibili mo ko ng isang banig na Viagra. Bilisan mo ha, malapit nang matapos maligo ang mommy mo!”
18. Orson/Kicoh – Once after a major fight with my dad, he said: “Sana pinunas nalang kita sa tissue!”
19. Boknoi – Dad: “Anak, pinagdududahan ko ang pagkalalaki ng nobyo mo.” Daughter: “Ha? Bakit niyo naman po nasabi yun?” Dad: “Nagkita kami sa gay bar.”
20. Joeshred – Mom: “Anak, saan nakakabili ng strap-on? Gusto daw ng daddy mo na i-dominate ko siya eh!”
21. Rihahahanna – Mom: “Parang sobrang init ngayon…” Dad: “Eh ba’t ka ba naman di mag-iinit eh kanina pa nakasawsaw yang dede mo sa kape!”
22. Joeshred – Dad: “Anak, meron ka ba diyang pampaputi ng b*tlog?”